Frodo’s Fables March 3 2011

WEEKS RIDES:

 SATURDAY            05h30       ELITE  MOUNTAIN GOAT

                                                      A         SALLAD

                                   06H00      B         FRODO

                                                      C         ROAD RAGE

                                                      D         DETOX

This week will be aimed at the humbling experience the MCC riders received at the SABIE Classic on Saturday.

I have already made a mental note to myself that it is a very silly idea to attempt this race with as much fitness as a contestant in the biggest loser competition.

First error of my ways was placing myself in the same car as the bloody Golden Girls, Vern and Damon were as painful as root canal with a pair of pliers.

Deciding on where to stop for lunch was a matter of life and death and STEER’s was not Vern’s first choice… and he let everyone know.

By the time we arrived at our destination, with one stop to place the GG’s bags in Dr Phil’s car due to a pending rain storm. Detox had arranged for us to stay in the building he owns in Sabie Central, this is where the weekend really started.

The rooms were nice and clean, but the floors were extremely hard, but the fun was to commence in the evening, when the quiet peaceful town of Sabie undertook a ugly transition to a scene from the centre of Hillbrow.

First Vern was hit on by a local tik whore, who for R60.00 would have lubed his naught, then when we tried to settle in for the night, the local Sabie disco and drag racing clubs kicked into action at about 22h00. It was so loud I actually considered joining the party, but my lack of understanding the Afrikaans lingo was a natural deterrent, plus the tik whore was still on the prowl and I only had R50.00 on me!

Race morning approached and let me tell you 7 men trying to offload the kid’s at the pool all similitaneosly causes a blockage similiar to Allan Dale offramp on a weekday after an accident.

We all hit our respective groups, with the two Roadies starting right at the back. Steve was not to concerned as he had informed us hardened MTB’ers that he should be able to ride at a 19km/hr average quite comfortably. We all informed him that this was about as achievable as Frodo staying on his bike.

Race commenced, and the hills started after 2km’s of a flat section, Detox already was eying the first climb with about as much entuthsiasm as a telkom postal worker, his new nick name was born… DNF (DETOX NOT FINISHING).

First climb out of the way, I was passed by the Silent Sufferer who was gliding up the hills as if they were not there. There was then a trio of Oldoak, Steve (who was now understanding the concept of 19km/hr) and myself, we were plodding along at about 10km/hr, not through choice.

I used my great downhill skills and dropped the Old Oak and Nineteen, I managed to see Burry at the loop section, which reminded me of the Epic mentality of “Lets see how we can really piss of the riders by riding in a pointless circle”

The race organisers also got the climbing indicators wrong, so when I thought we had finished the climbing at 2000m, up popped another mount everest. Needless to say my normally happy demeanour dissapeared like a quiet fart.

Ride of the day definetly goes to Damon, who was first MCC man home in 5h08 and even pipped Dr Phil. Damon was gracious in victory and only started mocking Vic on the drive home, he reckoned Vic did not need a bike as he walked so much!!

 Well done to the Silent Sufferer for klapping the boys and finished as 3rd MCC rider home, proving that some girls do have balls!

C you all on the weekend!!!